"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving
into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,
no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions,
and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume pressure in Hell. To stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities. (1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. (2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
"So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Theresa Banyan during my Freshman year, that 'It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."
The student got the only A.