* You can converse in middle schoolease.
* Your last nerve is a distant memory...
* Every day is a bad hair day.
* You find humor in public parental discipline.
* You worry about getting sued for self-esteem violiations.
* You believe the staff room should be equipped with Valium salt licks.
* You stand on your front porch instructing the neighbor children to "Walk!"
* Junior Highers make you feel old but you could not be paid to be that age again...
* You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to only work 8 - 3 and have your summers free."
* You refer to adults as "boys and girls"
* You encourage your husband by telling him he is a "good helper"
* You believe chocolate is a major food group.
* You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
* You believe "extremely annoying" should have its own box on the report card.
* You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
* When you are out in public you snap your fingers at children who are misbehaving.
* You give your husband "the look" when he "misbehaves."
* You have no life from August through June.
* Putting all "A"s on the report card would be so much easier.
* You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce, earned by having worked in a middle school for 5 years.
* You encourage a parent to check into home schooling.
* You can't have children of your own because there isn't a name you can hear that wouldn't elevate your blood pressure.
* You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
* You think that caffeine should be available in I-V form.
* Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like that?"