A newly discovered fragment from Genesis 3:25ff:
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now, I do not see you anymore. I am lonely here, and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me." And God said, "No problem! I will create an animal who will reside with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how often you are tempted to forget me, or be selfish, or how unloveable you behave, this companion will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam, and it wagged its tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in thr kingdom, and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, its name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call it DOG."
Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him and obeyed him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged its tail.
After awhile, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He strutrs and preens like a peacock, and he believes that he is worthy of adoration. Dog has, indeed, taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. This companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration." And so God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.
And Cat would NOT obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he is not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy, and wagged its tail. And the Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.