(If you have nine lives, you need a few extra.)
- Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
- Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem
- thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll
- Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor, as thou art not
- Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
- Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
- Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap region
- Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
- Thou shalt not re-set thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
- Thou shalt not climb on the trash can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt
fall in and trap thy self.
- Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 3 a.m.
- Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape
at every opportunity.
- Thou shalt not trip thy humans, even if they are walking too slow.
- Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in the
- Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are
- Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.