Now, at long last some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging gracefully.
These are a bit more realistic... 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of
blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too)! Neck chain and
large-print editions of "Vogue" and "Martha Stewart Living." 2. Hot Flash Barbie.
Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of
perspiration appear on her forehead! With handheld fan and tiny tissues. 3. Facial
Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available
with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's
droopy triceps with these new, roomier, sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy
front, too: muumuus with tummy support panels are included! 5. Bunion Barbie.
Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's
dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then
slip on soft terry mules. 6. No More Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet
and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
age-blasting cosmetics. 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader
is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root
for Babs and Ken, Jr. With mini van in robins egg blue or white, and cooler filled
with doughnut holes and fruit punch. 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie It's time to ditch
Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor
ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for
the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Comes with real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to
Do." 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $4,199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car,
and Ken's boat. 10. Single Mother Barbie. There's not much time for primping anymore!
Ken's shacked up with the Swedish au-pair in the Dream House and Barbie's across
town with Babs and Ken, Jr., in a fourth-floor walkup. Barbie's selling off her
old gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete garage sale kit included.
11. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate
party girl. Now she does twelve steps instead of dance steps! Clean and sober,
she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with little copy of The Big Book and
six-pack of Diet Coke. 12. Post Menopausal Barbie. Poor Barbie wets her pants
when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick
and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking the channels.
Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, she comes with the book,
"Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self."